5 Days & Counting
Yesterday I took the kids up to what has been, until this point, Olivia’s school. I say has been because on Monday Alex has his first day of school.
And I’m ready not ready.
Wasn’t he just a baby yesterday? But then also driving me crazy just yesterday? Wasn’t he needing me to feed him just yesterday? But then also eating 5 drum sticks just yesterday at dinner?
We were at the school mainly so I could get Olivia measured for her new uniforms. She grew so much in the past few months that that second year we thought we could get out of her skirts from last year isn’t going to happen. So, we measured and ordered and Olivia’s classmates that live at the children’s home there oohed and ahhed over her newly pierced ears and she was all shy and bashful like she gets when she secretly loves being the center of attention.
I spent some time visiting with the schools directors and catching up, which filled my heart and got me feeling a bit more prepared for things. While we visited Alex ran down to the playground by what will be “their” building now, where their classrooms are. I’m thankful that we moved Olivia there last year because things are already familiar to him. In his amazing sweetness, when I told him we needed to go visit the school and ask some questions about next week he said, “And I need to learn where the bathroom is.”
This morning as we snuggled he asked once again, “Is tomorrow school day?” He’s so excited, and I’m so excited for him. I know that once he gets settled he’s going to do great. He’s ready for this. And I’m ready. I think.
Because we work from home, it’s getting harder and harder to get stuff done while the kids are buzzing around, asking for things, needing to be fed and watered and oh! The boredom! I seriously spend half of my work day trying to tell them why I can’t just drop everything to walk over to the water cooler (that they can reach) to fill up a water cup for them (that’s already on the counter in front of the water cooler). Or why I can’t drop everything and color with them right that second. And, we’re well into the fighting all the time stage where some sort of injustice is always going down every. second. of. the. live. long. day.
So am I looking forward to school starting?
Yes. Yes, I am.
Because for 6 solid hours of every day my children will be in separate rooms from each other and be refereed by someone that isn’t me. I thought that school was going to be starting next Wednesday so I may have let out a
huge small yelp of joy when I touched base with the principal and she told me they were starting Monday. I just gained two days of sanity. Just like that! Wahoo!
Chris and I were talking a couple nights ago about what a difference having both kids in school will mean for our work day. It’ll mean we can work uninterupted. I won’t have to get people stuff other than our staff. I might actually be able to have a full conversation with Chris, multiple times per day, without having someone interrupting us. No more yelling and crying and being judge and jury while I’m trying to have a cohesive thought. We might actually be incredibly productive.
But, I’m also keenly aware that we’re closing one chapter of our lives and opening another. While we were on vacation I had to run to Target and pick up some things, some of which was clothing for the kids. In years past I’ve had to shop between the kids department and the toddler section, but this time I realized that none of our kids fit anything in the toddler section anymore. As I stood there in the middle of the aisle with my cart, already shellshocked from the cultural transition that thought hit me like a ton of bricks. I looked at the baby section, the entire baby section of the store and thought, “I don’t ever need to step foot in there again for our family. We’re done with ALL of that. ” And I felt a bit sad and happy all at the same time. When we were packing I may have at one point yelled from the bedroom, “Honey! I just realized that we don’t have to pack diapers! No more diapers! No bags of diapers to lug along wherever we go!! Do you know how much extra space that gives us??!?!”We’ve come home and we’re officially done with pull ups now too.
And on Monday we official begin the all our kids are in school phase of life that will not end until they’re adults. We have three weekdays of not school years left, and then we’re officially into the school years. And while I’m SO ready, part of me feels not ready, and I realize this is the hard part about being a parent. You always want your kids to keep moving forward with life, onto that next phase, because that’s healthy for them. But, there’s always that part of you that wants to bottle them right where they’re at and keep all the precious sweet things about them frozen in time.
So, that’s the conundrum. Accepting that time is always moving forward and loving all the things about it. But wanting to freeze certain things and hold onto those too.
And here we are. Only five more sleeps until we venture into unchartered territory.