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An Intentional Year

An Intentional Year

Hello!

Chris and I are still sharing a computer and have a time share schedule worked out, so I was able to carve out some time to pop in today! The good news though, is that my loved lappy is on it’s way to Florida after spending time with the techs at Lenovo, and should be arriving in Peggy’s hands today for a return flight next week! So happy! I have no idea yet what the problem was or how they fixed or whether they had to wipe everything, but I’m happy it didn’t end up being an extended process. We have a lot going on in the next two months and being able to work on my own is a must!

That said, I mentioned that I was looking forward to the “sabbatical” of sorts, and it’s been good for me. I think going into anything new, whether it’s a project, a house, a job or a year, it’s good to have time to wrap your whole self around it. Not just your head. We can think and think and think about these things, but until we can take time to process how they’ll affect our heads along with our hearts, the people we care about and life in general I think it can feel like jumping into a pool of frigid water.

In the past week or so since Chris’ parents left we’ve had time together to just talk about the year ahead. What do we have coming that we need to be preparing for, and most of all, what are the things we’re hoping to do and see happen this year. When I think of everything going on in 2015, the word “flexibility” comes to mind quickly as something we’ll have to cling to. But, as I listened to what our personal goals were for this year there was a different theme that seemed to carry over for the both of us – being more intentional. 

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Photo credit: IHeartOrganizing.com

 

As I’ve spent time thinking about what I feel I need to focus on in 2015 that idea of intention just resonated with me in all areas of my life. Work, family, friends, home, creativity, faith and caring for myself.

I don’t believe in writing resolutions for several reasons, but mostly because I think they set us up for disaster and self loathing. What I do believe in is goals. By setting goals we give ourselves something to aim for, but there’s flexibility to change things along the way as life changes. Big goals and small goals. And when we set goals, we should also have some sort of action plan in place to be successful. How do I get from point A to B if I don’t put any work into planning my route? I don’t just hop in the car and put the key in the ignition and hope the car arrives at it’s destination while I mindlessly drive around. No, in order to reach a goal we need to be active.

So, here are some of the things I’m aiming to be more intentional about in 2015:

Work:

  • Taking time to work through project ideas and plans so I can be more successful at achieving work goals in the long term. I have A LOT of ideas right now during this time of transitioning roles throughout our organization and it can be all crazy in my head at times, and overwhelming.
  • Being more intentional about doing projects that I really love to be part of and that use my gifts, and delegating things that I know Peggy would be great at rather than still feeling like I need to do it all.

 

Family:

  • Spend more time doing fun things like reading and playing games with my kids. Because we live in a small space we’re together a lot more than average families, so I feel like this is something I have to really work at to enjoy doing. That might sound bad, but when we’re always together it can be hard for the introverted part of my personality to enjoy this stuff. When I am intentional about it I do enjoy it, though.
  • Less gadget time. This one carries over into other areas too, but I think of how often my kids see me with either a computer, an iPad or a phone in my hand…
  • Staying in touch better with family back home. This is harder the longer we’re here because everyone’s lives move on and look different.

 

Friends:

  • Being intentional about continuing to develop deeper relationships with friends here in Haiti. I’m so thankful for our community here and want to grow in that more, and help it grow more. Encouraging, being available, and welcoming people into our home regularly all fall into this. We do a lot of this already, I just want to keep doing it well.
  • Finding little ways to encourage our friends. Maybe it’s a card on their birthday, or taking someone a meal. I have ideas and I know they will ebb and flow, but I just want to feed into people more in little ways like I would if I was living back home. I think that’s healthy, even when it might mean it’s more logistically difficult and requires some planning.

 

Home:

  • Things are starting to really move on the new property, and if everything moves ahead as planned we should see ourselves moving at the end of the year or early in 2016. With that in mind I want to be intentional about lightening the moving burden by strategically going through not just our house, but the property in general and cleaning stuff out. Getting rid of what we don’t need or use. Deciding what we really want to keep and letting the rest go ahead of time so that when we get to that move day/week we don’t have this burden of stuff to deal with. I figure if we can break it down over the year we can make some good progress.
  • I want to put small things in place that help life move more easily for us. A little work in some areas can mean simplicity in others. Asking the questions of whether something is working, could we do it differently, or if there’s even a need for change is a good place to start.
  • I want to be happy with less. Quality over quantity. Not quickly buying something, but taking time to think about whether it’s a need or want and being okay with putting it off for a while. And, being creative and asking myself if I can make something similar with what I have here.

 

Faith:

  • I’m feeling the tug to dig in more and one of my goals for this year is to be reading my Bible more.
  • I would like to work at memorizing scripture more, even if it’s one verse per month.
  • Being more intentional with our kids about reading the Bible with them and talking about spiritual growth things.
  • I’m excited about a new ladies Bible study that I’m going to be doing starting later this month. I was part of one group since late 2013, but felt a tug to branch out and start a new group with some ladies in our missionary community that hadn’t been able to come to that first group because of other commitments or lack of transportation. I have a vehicle and the freedom to go to them, so that’s what we’re doing! The group will be small with 5 of us and I’m excited about the study as well as the relationships. I love all these women and am looking forward to building into each other in a new way. We vary in ages from late 20’s to early 60’s so the wealth of life knowledge there is huge and I’m looking forward to learning from each other. I want to be intentional about making this a priority, especially as I work at preparing for each weeks sessions.

 

Personal Care:

  • I want to continue to be intentional about losing weight, and doing it in a way that will lead to long term change. Going at a safe, consistent rate that allows grace for myself is a big part of this. So thankful for Chris’ encouragement in this area.
  • In that vein, I want to keep being diligent about tracking my points daily. It really helps me to stay on target and to be mindful about the food choices I make. It feels good to say no to something when I know I don’t need it or that I would be eating it to fill an emotional void or out of boredom.
  • I want to be intentional about getting more exercise. I’ve been having fun swimming with a friend several times per week and need to see what that will look like going forward. I really enjoy it because it doesn’t feel like exercise and we can visit while we do it, so win win!
  • I want to read more. Again, because I spend so much time on gadgets, it’s easy to get stuck on Facebook rather than opening up the Kindle app.

 

Creativity:

  • Last year I learned how vital this was to my personal health, and I want to continue to be intentional about feeding this part of my soul this year. Giving myself permission to be creative is the first part of the battle, because in some ways it feels frivolous, BUT this is who God made me to be and allowing that part of myself to grow honors him.
  • I want to knit more, which falls under the “less gadget time” thing too. If I put down or step away from the gadgets then I have more time to do other things.
  • Work on my photography.

 

I know that seems like a long list, and really, I don’t think it’s exhaustive and that it will get added to and changed through the year. Call me crazy if you want to! :) I think there are smaller things that are goals under those bigger goals of being intentional. What really helped me clarify my thoughts about a lot of this was a blog post I read last week that I just loved. It was written by Jennifer Jones at IHeartOrganizing. You can read it HERE. Take the time, it’s worth it!

One of my favorite quotes is this:

For as long as I can remember, I have had fantasies of clutter free surfaces, relaxing days and dust free floors.  But it is important to realize that a) those things do not happen without work and b) I can’t do it all and finally c) I will kill myself trying.

There is such an important balance that has to take place within ourselves in regards to dividing our time doing things we “need” to do and “want” to do.  If we only work, we will lose steam and become frustrated and aggravated over time.  It is important to make the time to do things we love and be sure to enjoy our homes.  But too much play and not enough attention on the home can cause things to quickly fall apart and prevent more fun from happening.  I have always struggled with the ability to divide the need to get something done with just kicking my feet up and cuddling in to watch a good movie.  I have had to train myself that good enough is OK, that no home is perfect and that I have to find ways to inject my passions and hobbies into my household chores.  Why was I trying to be it all and do it all?  There is no enjoyment in that.  The goal is to organize to save time and money and then spend the rest of my time enjoying life.

Balance. Such a huge thing. That’s really what it comes down to, isn’t it? Being intentional about finding balance.

I liked so much about that post that I’ve read it a couple of times already and I think I’ll go back to it several times this year. I appreciated that she addressed the concept of not generalizing goals, but also making things manageable by starting with a small list of projects, and then adding to it as things got finished. I think my tendency is to want to make a giant list, then work like a whirling dervish, get cranky because I have SO MANY THINGS TO DO, and no one is happy. Yes, I may have just cleaned the entire house, but no one enjoyed the process. In fact, everyone is steering clear of me like I have the plague. Because we have a big, what we already know will be stressful at times, year ahead, I want to do things that will reduce that stress, not add to it. Breaking things into manageable pieces helps that. As does doing things to simplify where possible, giving ourselves breathing room, like I mentioned before.

As I was writing this I realized that I have a lot of thoughts around this and it’s probably better to break it down into smaller chunks, so that’s what I’m going to do! Look forward to more posts in the coming days about all this.

What are your goals for 2015? 

~Leslie

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January 7, 2015 3 Comments
Blogging Sabbatical

Blogging Sabbatical

A blogging sabbatical?!? Um, didn’t you just get this thing started?

Yes, yes I did.

And then we woke up this morning to find that my laptop that we got in August was dead. Non-responsive. Zero life.

Happy New Year!

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We’re thankful that it happened when it did. I contacted Lenovo support and it’s still under warranty, so Mum and Dad are taking it back with them tomorrow and will fire it off in the box from the company and, fingers crossed, it should be ready to go within 7 business days. I’m holding my breath on that one, but also leaving that in God’s hands. Because, really, what can I do? At least it didn’t happen tomorrow after they’d left for the airport, right?

So, with all of that in mind I’m having to re-adjust plans for the coming weeks until I can get it or something back here. Chris and I will be sharing a computer, which should be really fun. cough. Thankfully when I got my new computer we upgraded a bunch of stuff and I’m now storing all our work files in the cloud, so I can still work on the important things. But, I also want to be realistic and know that we’re going to be doing a lot of juggling around here, and rather than stress out about it I’m choosing to make lemonade.

With that in mind I just wanted to let you know to anticipate a quieter space here. Not because anything is wrong, but because logistics will be harder and one of my goals for 2015 is to find more balance in things. To know what is reasonable, to priorities, to even step back from technology if that’s the best thing in that moment. So, when I’m able and inspired I’ll post, but I’m not going to allow myself to stress about it. And, because all my photo editing programs are on my computer you’re going to see more of the written word for the next bit if I am posting.

I’m actually looking forward to this. An unintended time to move into the New Year where I can step back and take stock of some things and focus better in some areas.

I’ll be honest, right now, in this day, I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. The holidays have been fun. We’ve had a wonderful visit with Mum and Dad. I haven’t slept well the past few nights, so I think I’m feeling tired from that, which always tempers the rest of my outlook. Not a good happy person without enough sleep. While I’ve loved having the Christmas decorations up, I’m finding myself itching to get things cleaned up and packed away. We have friends coming over tomorrow, so I’ll have to hold off until the weekend. I think I’m just ready to do a good cleaning and freshen things up a bit. I’m itching to go through Olivia’s clothes dresser to dung out a bunch of things, and it’s time to do a toy purge now that Christmas is over.

Does anyone else get this huge desire to clean after the holidays are over?

I’m so funny because I feel like I’m chomping at the bit to get to the holidays, and then I want to soak up every carol and twinkle light and moment, but then I’m done and ready to move on. It probably doesn’t help that Yonese has had a couple weeks off of work and there’s a thick layer of dust on a lot of stuff. I love her so much. She helps me stay sane.

I’m actually looking forward to stepping back and having a bit of time to reorganize some areas of life, and prepare for others. I want to be more intentional about some things, and need some head space to prepare for that.

So, that’s that.

As we go into the New Year I hope you’ll do so with expectation of good things. I’m excited about this year and everything it has the potential to hold for us and the mission.

Happy New Year!

~Leslie

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December 30, 2014 No Comments
Settle in, hunker down, and let it be enough.

Settle in, hunker down, and let it be enough.

It’s been a few days, hasn’t it??

On my old blog I would make excuses for lengthy absences, but I’ve vowed not to do that in this space, because this is life. Life gets busy and you have to pick and choose where you spend your time. I’ve made choices in the past couple of weeks, and I’m grateful for those choices because it’s allowed me to do what I said I wanted to do in the last post – let everything be enough.

And now, it’s Christmas Eve morning.

As I sit here on the couch writing, I’m sipping coffee. The Christmas tree lights are on, as are the other lights in the house. I got these amazing battery operated candles from IKEA. They’re now on the coffee table, because we all love them and they’re fun, and there’s still room for feet :) It was pretty comical when I plugged the batteries in and then couldn’t find the power switch, or figure out why they kept flicking on and off. I finally looked at the instruction manual, which is really a single folded page of pictures, and realized that they turned off and on when you flipped them over. And then I had to show everyone because, hello, can we say intelligent design?!? So, here I sit at just past 7 am by the “candle light” wanting to share some last Christmas thoughts.

interior_romance_mood_HA196_350AThese are not my candles. Though, they do look very IKEA-ish…

The past two weeks have been busy. We’ve celebrated the holidays with our missionary family during a Christmas potluck and party. Chris’ parents arrived and we’ve been having a lot of fun with them. Lazy, relaxed fun. We had our last day of work for 2014 and our staff Christmas party. It was a lot of work for me, but totally worth it. That same day was also Olivia’s school Christmas program. She was Mary and got to ride to Bethlehem on a “donkey”, which was really one of the older boys and completely hilarious. There were Christmas carols in English, Creole and French and it made my heart so happy.

Knowing we were heading into a busy week my plans following were not plans at all. In fact they were simply to do not much of anything. To enjoy my family. Nap. Knit. Drink coffee. Those types of things. And I’ve been successful.

Yes, there has been some workish activity here, but it’s more in the “need to do” realm. And, I have this funny quirk where I like the house to be clean and tidy before Christmas. I think it helps me feel peaceful and ready. It’s an anticipation thing. A preparing my heart thing. It’s little things, like getting the laundry all done so that I know I have a couple days without having to think about it. It’s giving the bathroom a quick clean, sweeping and mopping and putting things in their places. And then I can rest and relax well. Yesterday Chris took the kids out to Kan Marie with their bikes so they could ride while he watered, and it gave me enough time to do all the little things I wanted, and then to sit back and enjoy the rest of the day with everyone.

I’ve loved having the head space to enjoy the moments as they come, especially with the kids. They’re at this amazing age where everything is so exciting and I want to bottle it and am keenly aware that this moment in their lives will never come again. The wonder that they have will not be the same next year. I see them growing up and and I just want to freeze these moments. Alex finally gets this whole festive thing, but not completely, so it’s made for some fun comments from him. Like yesterday when he was asking how many more days until Christmas and said, “Two more days until Christmas! Woohoo! And then we’ll open presents and there will be snow!” Or when the kids were looking at the presents under the tree and trying to guess what was in Olivia’s big present from us. When I asked what they thought it was, Olivia said, very enthusiastically, “I know! It’s a puppy!!!” I then had to let them know that it probably wouldn’t be very nice for the puppy to be in a box with no air or food for days… So hilarious and precious and amazing. And, yes, we’ll be doing lessons in geography and weather in the new year.

And today? Today is the day of waiting. The heart kind of waiting. Preparing room for the coming of the King. I feel peaceful and relaxed and a deep sense of anticipation. This Christmas season has been a good time of letting go of things for me. Making decisions to not stress out about things that no one else will know are missing, except me. To let things be enough, because when I look back on the Christmas story my understanding has changed.

In the past I’ve spent so much energy focused on “the best Christmas ever”. And there’s a lot of pressure in that. Except I think back and I wonder how often I’ve gotten it wrong. God didn’t send Jesus in the most perfect way, into the best situation that he could. He sent him into this world in the arms of a young couple who got thrown into this socially unacceptable situation. Mary had to travel, on a donkey, for days only to get to her destination and find out she couldn’t even put her feet up. I think of all the questions she and Joseph must have had. How confusing things must have been. How often they questioned their own sanity, and wondered if they’d heard right when the angel told them how things would play out. And yet they were obedient.

And, when the Son of God decided to make his appearance he did so with human bodily fluids and came into a dirty barn. He was wrapped in rags. The Bible doesn’t say whether anyone came to help Mary deliver. I suspect that maybe there were people around because Joseph was probably freaking out, and culturally women would just step in to help. But, Mary and Joseph would have understood the fullness of holding that little baby, in a way that no one else around them would have.

We got a new book this Christmas simply called The Nativity by Julie Vivas:

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The thing that struck me about this book as I read through it with the kids for the first time, aside from the fact that the writing was actually just quoted scripture, was the pictures. There was no typical manger scene with pulled together parents gazing in admiration at this bundle of joy laying on clean hay. Instead there was a picture of an exhausted mother holding her soft stomach while leaning against her husband who has this new baby cuddled to his chest with a look of wonder on his face. A look that I saw in my own husbands eyes when he held our newborn son for the first time. A look that couldn’t possibly have words put to it because it’s as much wonder as disbelief that this thing just happened.

I love thumbing through it because every time I do I keep thinking, “This is more like the story I’ve read. This, I can relate to this. 

The manger was messy. It wasn’t pretty and pristine and well polished and wrapped in all the pretty things. It was rough around the edges and raw and full of emotion. It was the very collision of humanity and heaven. 

Think about that for a second.

The very collision of humanity and heaven.

When Christmas comes we spend so much time doing all the things and trying to make everything perfect, but God sent his Son into this world in a way that pushed against all that. Yesterday I read a blog post by Glennon Doyle Melton on Momastery that you should really read. Especially right now when there’s more pressure to play your “A” game over the next two days.

It reminded me that it’s okay to be just enough. To do just enough. 

Because when we can slow down and be and do just enough we leave room for God to remind us why we need him. We can feel all the things that spring up at this time of year, and leave those in the hands of the One who sent his Son for the very reason of giving us access to Him so he can carry those hurts and burdens and heavy things. We don’t have to be the ones making Christmas special. It already is special, and no amount of Christmas baking and gift wrap and money will change that.

Yes, I’m sitting her looking at our Christmas tree and the gifts wrapped underneath it, but rather than wondering if I’ve done enough this year I’m enjoying the anticipation of the day. Of knowing that this year while we’ll have a turkey in the oven I’m not going to be running around stressed out and making sure everyone has a fabulous Christmas, dangit! Rather than feeling like every minute has to be crammed with something festive, I’m letting go of things and realizing there is so much fun and freedom in that. I don’t have to make sure all the things happen. It’s been so freeing to just be and to enjoy. To not be worried about whether we do that one last Christmas craft or I squeeze in that one last bit of a gift. It’s been nice to sit around and be lazy and snuggle my kids and read and watch movies and knit and play games. And I plan on doing more of that. I do have a date with some turkey brine, but then I have a date with my husband and in-laws and kids to enjoy each other without the pressure of making everything perfect.

This Christmas my wish and hope for you is that you’ll have the freedom to sit in the messiness of life and to be okay with that. God didn’t come to earth to fix the perfect, he came to heal the broken. And my friend, we are ALL broken. No matter how shiny and perfect and pretty the exterior, we’re all cracked and damaged goods inside. Let yourself rest in that, and know that it’s enough. And friend, don’t worry so much about the “to do” list. In fact, change the “to do” list so that it reads things like, listen to the things my kids are saying, look people in the eye, ask for help with the gravy, laugh, put my feet up and read a book for a bit, snuggle someone, stop thinking about Pinterest, and let it all be enough. 

Merry Christmas from our broken, cracked pots to yours :)

~Leslie

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December 24, 2014 1 Comment
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I’m Leslie. I started my blog back in 2005 when I was fresh off the plane in Haiti. I lived in Haiti for over 17 years as a missionary, wife, and eventually mom. My husband and I ran Clean Water for Haiti together, day in and day out. We carved out a life we loved doing something important to us. Sadly, in the fall of 2022 we had to make the difficult decision to leave Haiti because of the insecurity. We’re now settling into life in the US. I’m thankful that I get to continue my work with CWH as the Executive Director for Canada and the US.

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