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Leslie RollingLeslie Rolling
Leslie RollingLeslie Rolling
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Hello Bungalow!

If you haven’t read my last post, you should definitely go back and do that first so you know what’s going on around here. If you’re back because you want to find out what happens next, thanks for going on this wild ride with me!

Just as a recap from the first part of the story, the Rollings (that would be Chris and I) had started looking at houses with the idea of buying something “in the next year”. We looked at some options, almost had seizures and panic attacks, and decided the best course was to step back, breathe a bit, and just go very slow. Even take a break from looking for a bit.

In all the years we were in Haiti, there were many times where we got to see God’s provision for us in very real and tangible ways. Ways that were very, very specific. When I say “provision” I’m not talking about prosperity gospel type stuff. I’m meaning that there were more times than I can count where we were almost drowning in a big, hard situation that felt impossible, and we just had to fully release it to God. I, many times, found myself praying and saying things like, “God, I can’t do this. I don’t know what the answer is. I have no idea how we’re going to get through this. You need to do this because we’re empty. We can’t physically do this ourselves. It’s one of those impossible situations.” There were so many times where we would be deeply entrenched in things and Chris would say something like, “This is literally the only solution to this problem, but that will never happen that way. It’s too specific and impossible.” Then that exact thing would happen in a way that we could not possibly orchestrate ourselves, and we had never shared those conversations outside of the two of us. So many times.

Because of that I knew that I needed to fully release this whole house situation and prayed that God would just work it all out in the time that was right for our family, and that when it was time we would just know and things would fall into place in ways that seemed crazy. Until then, I prayed that we would just be content where we were and not stress about things.

On the calendar we’re sitting right at June 14. It’s a Wednesday. We’ve kind of chilled out after the weekend and the complete overwhelm from seeing what my brother affectionately called the Horror House. In case you need a reminder, this was the house of reference…

I had stopped my daily repeated checks of new listings on Redfin and Zillow, but while I was taking a lunch break I decided to just take a quick look because it had been a couple days. In our area a lot of new listings start to pop up on Wednesdays to get them up before the weekend when people are more free to go to open houses.

I tapped in all the info and hit “Newest” in the sort options. I started scrolling past things that were way out of our price range, and then stopped because something caught my eye. I tapped on the listing and then checked out the write up. Then I looked at the location on the map. I started swiping through pictures. I got up out of my chair and walked over to the table where Chris was working.

“Hey, I know we said we were going to stop looking at houses, but can you look at this and tell me what you think? If you aren’t interested it’s totally fine, but I think you should look at it.”

He reads the write up. He scrolls through the pictures. He looks at the map.

“Huh. I would be interested in seeing this. Do you want to message the realtor?”

I did, and we asked if we could see it sometime on Friday because Chris had a full work day the next day, but she asked if we’d be free later that afternoon if there was an opening. We told her we could be if we needed to be, but didn’t need to rush. This was at about 2:30pm. The listing had been up for 1 hour when I found it. At 4pm we were at the house doing a walk through.

As a refresher, this was our list of needs and wants in a house:

  • Have 3 bedrooms
  • Be within our kids school boundaries
  • Have the potential for a rental unit (ADU)
  • Have enough parking space for multiple vehicles, including a covered parking space for Chris’ Volkswagen van.
  • Have a decent sized yard so we can garden, plant fruit trees, and have space to host friends and family.
  • Have some kind of work space for both Chris and I because we work from home.
  • Ideally we would prefer to stay in the part of town we’re already living in because it’s close to family and all the best parts of the city and things we like to do, our church, etc.
  • A bonus would be an older home with some character that we could fix up and put our own stamp on.

The house we went to see is a little bungalow built in 1942 when the city started developing neighborhoods for shipyard workers. The whole neighborhood is all little bungalows of similar size, and is just minutes from where we currently live. It’s minutes from downtown and all the things that we want to be close to. Literally two stop lights further from where we are now. There’s a park four houses away, with a community center, giant old growth trees, and picnic tables. You can see it from the driveway. The park is next to an elementary school. It’s in our kid’s school boundaries, so they would just be on a slightly different bus route. Alex’s best friend can still skateboard over, and one of Olivia’s good friends lives almost across the street in an apartment complex.

The houses in this neighborhood are predominantly very small, about 700-900ish square feet and built on slab foundations. This one is one of the few in the neighborhood that has a basement, and the current owners did work over the years to finish it to about the 75% mark, bringing the square footage to just over 1800 sq. feet. That’s about 500 square feet more than we’re living in right now. The house is two bedrooms, legally (closets and proper windows), but as part of the work done in the basement there are already bedrooms walled in, they just hadn’t put in the egress windows or closets. By replacing basement windows and doing the needed egress work it could go from a 2 bedroom to a 4 bedroom and increase the value of the house by quite a bit. It would also mean the house could have three bedrooms and an office space for Chris and I.

The roof is in good shape. The windows are all newer and in good shape. The foundation is solid. The basement was dry and had been heavily used for various things. There is a bit of a front yard and a good sized back yard. There’s a cement patio area out back. There’s a little shed that was used as a tinkering space and even has a shingled roof with gutters and a down spout. There’s a long driveway as well as street parking in front of the house, on a quiet street. And there’s a detached garage that looked big enough from the listing photos to have the potential to become a rental unit. And best of all, this house was well within our price range. It was listed quite a bit lower than what we said we’d be willing to spend on a place that had the potential for a rental unit.

As we walked through the house it was evident the house was tired. As in the people who had lived in it kept it in pretty good condition, but it hadn’t been updated in a very long time. All of the things that looked old were really more cosmetic, and were livable, but the bones were good. She just needs some love. It would mean that we could prioritize some basic cosmetic stuff, move in, then work on things over time. Chris and I know how much of a difference paint can make in a space, so we could give everything a fresh coat before moving in and it would completely freshen things up. The carpets need to be pulled up because they’re very worn and stained, but there are original hardwoods under that. The cabinets in the kitchen and bathroom are from the 60s, but they’re solid. Cleaning them up, sanding them, and repainting can freshen them up until one were in a position to do a kitchen and bathroom remodel.

The one thing that we didn’t see in the listing was pictures of the inside of the garage. Wanting to put in a rental unit, it was important that we got a feel for the space to see if it was a possibility. Initially our realtors were struggling to get the doors open. As they worked on that we walked around the building. It was obvious the garage had been added on to at one point. The back half had a separate entrance and a big 4×5′ residential window facing the yard. They did manage to get the door open and we found a good size garage space on the front side, but there was a wall up and another internal door going to the back portion. The wife in our realtor team went ahead through the door and then I heard, “Oh, this is interesting…”

I followed her then stopped dead when I walked in the room.

Friends, there’s a pool back there!

They had built an addition on the garage to fit a 10×20′ above ground swimming pool, which they had actually lowered about halfway into the floor. As in they built this entire room to accommodate the pool. They built the room, sunken foundation and all, then assembled the pool inside and got it all up and running. And by up and running I mean that they have an entire heating system so they can use it year round, as well as an endless pool pump to lap swim with. It’s a whole thing. The big advantage is that the space is perfectly sized for a rental unit, and after the pool is taken out, the floor is already open to run all the plumbing etc without having to break into a foundation.

We spent over an hour walking around and checking things out. Rather than having a panic attack Chris was chill and very much taking everything in. We both saw the potential and possibilities. It was all stuff we could manage, and what we couldn’t do ourselves didn’t feel crazy overwhelming financially or physically. It was just the right size. It was in the area we wanted. It was the right price point, lower in fact. It literally checked every box, no compromises.

We left and came home and kept having little conversations. Chris talked to his mum about it (she’s a retired realtor) and we all drove past it so she could see the neighborhood and get a feel for it. There were more pros and cons types of conversations, though we couldn’t really think of any cons. The next morning when I came downstairs to make my coffee I found Chris sitting on the couch scrolling through the listing again. Remember, this was the guy having a panic attack a few days earlier. We talked more. Chris had to go into Portland for a bunch of meetings and work. Later in the morning our realtor checked in with us and he told her we were still thinking, but interested. Again, no panic attacks. Interested. Chris and I ended up chatting on the phone a bit after that and both realized that we couldn’t think of any negatives.

At one point I asked if we were both saying that we wanted to make an offer and he just said, “Is it crazy to make an offer on a house when you’ve only been looking for a week?” I reminded him of what our realtors had told us, which is that when you know, you just know. It literally checked every single box. It even had a couple of things that I didn’t mention in my last post.

Yes, all the important must haves were there, but Chris and I had both said that it would be great if wherever we ended up had some tinkering space for him where he could work on engine stuff. One of my wish list items was space for my soap making, if possible. I haven’t made a single bar since we moved because our current house doesn’t have good space to cure and store the soap or my supplies where I can have easy access to them. In Haiti I had always just used our kitchen to make the soap. Then I would cut it and let it sit on the counter on trays under the fan for a day or two before I moved it up to the shelves in our upstairs storage room. I had a little nook where I had a desk and space to do all the labeling, storage of cured and wrapped stuff, etc. Having any kind of space to do something similar was high on my “wants” list.

This house not only had the little shed out back with power and shelves and a work bench, but the main garage has shelves and a big work bench built into it, so lots of tinkering space for Chris. The basement, as I mentioned, is already partitioned into rooms. Four rooms to be exact. Two of those would be bedrooms. One is more of a general use room at the bottom of the stairs. The last room is the laundry room, but is the size of one of the bedrooms. Along with the laundry hook ups there’s already a utility sink built in. And because the foundation is a mix of thick, poured concrete walls, and block walls on top of that, there are shelves built into the walls where the blocks meet the concrete. The shelves are the perfect size for curing soap and storing supplies, like my fragrances and colorants. There’s tons of room to build a big work table and extra storage shelves for bigger buckets of ingredients and supplies. We can even put Chris’ brew fridge down there, and he could brew down there if he wanted.

All of that to say that not only did the house have all of the “must haves” on our list, it also had every “would be nice” item on the list. Every one. An actual office space. Tinkering space. Soaping space. An older house with character that just needs some love.

As Chris and I talked that morning I finally just said, “Are we both saying that we want to make an offer?” He said that he figured we had to pull the trigger at some point. The guy having a panic attack three days prior, was now saying we should be making an offer. I got in touch with our realtor and we started working on an offer to submit that afternoon with a response deadline of the following day.

So did we get it?!

Well, we did get a response the following day, but it wasn’t the acceptance of an offer. You see, the selling realtor had scheduled open houses for the weekend and our realtor was hoping that by getting an offer in right away that they would just accept and cancel the open houses. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case, and the selling realtor came back and said they wanted to hold all offers until Monday, after the open houses. So, we had to wait. We did go to the open house on Sunday, just to do another walk through and confirm that we were still interested. It was a good idea because it just solidified our decision.

On Monday our realtor got in touch because we had to resubmit our offer, since the first one had expired on Friday. This was actually good, because she had been able to get in touch with the selling realtor to find out if there were other offers. There was one, and she was able to find out that it was above asking price, so we had an idea of where to set our second offer. We did that, submitted, then waited until Tuesday.

On Tuesday morning our realtor called and let me know our offer had been accepted.

Friends, we were under contract!

Here she is in all her listing photos glory :)

I actually started writing this the week after the offer was accepted because I wanted to get everything out while it was fresh in my mind, partly so I don’t forget details for our own memories, and partly because of time. You see, we were aiming for a 30 day closing.

What’s crazy about all of that is that we went from saying we were going to stop looking for a bit, slow down, not be in a rush, then two days later found a house. A day after that put our inital offer in. Exactly a week after finding the listing we had an offer accepted, and our 10 day window for inspections etc. opened. That 10 day window closed on June 30, and the following morning we left at 5 am to drive to California to spend two weeks with Chris’ brother and sister-in-law on holidays. We got back on July 13th, had 4-5 days of final mortgage paperwork to deal with, signed all the official paperwork on the 20th, and on the 21st we closed. And then we went to Mount Hood for the weekend because one of Chris’ board members has a cottage there and insisted we use it before they list it for sale next month.

And now here we are, homeowners.

Friends, we bought a bungalow!

It all seems so crazy. Chris has just kept saying things like, “Who gets an offer accepted on a house then goes away right in the middle of it for several weeks?” and, “What normal person closes on a house then immediately leaves town to go away for the weekend?!?” In the past month we’ve been coming to terms with the fact that apparently we don’t do “normal” well, and actually thrive in the abnormal, in the chaos of many things happening at once, in big decisions. Of course we would be the people who have a whirlwind experience buying a house. We’re the Rollings, it’s what we do, and as a friend told me during some challenging times, “You will do this, because you guys were made for stuff like this.” :)

When I was thinking about, and talking about God’s provision earlier, I was also factoring timing in there, and how God’s timing is amazing. We had been planning the trip to California well before we started looking at houses, in the event that my green card hadn’t come through by summer and we weren’t able to travel to Canada. We had booked the weekend at Mount Hood well beforehand as well. The dates and timing on everything sandwiched right in between all of those plans. Nothing was forced or moved to accommodate the house purchase. And thanks to modern technology, we did most things electronically from where we were, whether it was at home, or while we were traveling.

The house itself checks every single box we had, event the “would be really nice” list. The asking price and what we settled on was still much lower than what we’d said we’d be willing to pay with the option of having a rental unit. Since our offer was accepted I’ve kept my eyes on the market and there hasn’t been a single house that has come up that had everything we wanted, in the part of town we wanted, for even close to what we offered. Everything is way higher for less square footage and only part of the things on our list.

We held onto the house loosely in the early stages, being willing to step away if needed, trusting that if this wasn’t our house something else that was better would come along. We still had all the inspections and steps to go through. When it did come time for the inspection, the inspector went through everything and told us that with the age of the house he expected that he would find issues, but there were none. The house was solid and just needed some updates. Things like new doors, changing the flooring, painting, and eventually refreshing the kitchen and bathroom. He had some suggestions about things in the basement, but it was things like, “That wiring should be in a conduit,” in a room that we plan on doing work in anyway, and, “That tape might have asbestos in it and should be covered,” on a duct where the tape obviously needed to be redone or covered.

The biggest issue that was found was that the sewer scope showed old pipes with separation and that needed to be replaced, along with some root intrusion. The estimate to have the work done was about the same as our closing costs, so we asked that the seller cover closing costs and we would do the work later, and they agreed. The benefit of this to us is not only that our closing costs got covered, but when we build the rental unit we need to tie it into the sewer system, so we can do all of the work at once. The other issue that came up was during the appraisal when the appraiser said they couldn’t finalize things because the covering over the back patio area had several rotten roof supports that were a hazard. They said it either needed to be fixed or taken down. This was something the seller had to take care of. We had already planned to take it down, so we told them to go that route, which they did, and we didn’t have to do the work or take care of the expense. The appraisal got done and things were good to go.

My next post is going to be a house tour based on the listing photos so you can see what we’re starting from. I’m planning to share the renovation process and all the fun of updating our sweet little bungalow so you can journey with us, and so we have a scrapbook of sorts for this next phase of our lives. We have a lot of things that need to be done, much of which will happen over time. Some of it will be “Phase 1” type projects, where we do a “for now” upgrade until we make decisions about what we want to do long term. Things like paint and refinishing floors. Other projects, like building the rental unit, will be full on as soon as we can get to them.

Buckle your seatbelts, it’s going to be a fun ride!

~Leslie

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July 22, 2023 12 Comments

House Of Horrors

It’s been a very long time since we’ve gotten to go on a journey here on the blog. And by journey I really mean settling in for a good story. Maybe even something with multiple parts. Well Friends, I’ve got a good one for you!

In order to get to the good stuff I first need to back up and give you some back story for context. When we moved from Haiti we spent about a month living with Chris’ parents, then moved into one of the rental houses that they own. Now we’re here, living the American life, paying rent and utilities and just figuring out future plans. When we had planned to be in Haiti until we retired, we had a lot of ideas about what retirement could look like. After we moved here waaaayyyy before that was supposed to happen, we realized we needed to start making different plans.

Over the past 6-7 months we had more and more conversations about housing and what we wanted to do. We knew that in the next year or so we wanted to buy a house, but weren’t in a rush. I’m always thinking about things like home renovations, and if you’ve been around here for a long time, you know that I was very hands on with the build of our house in Haiti. I also like looking at real estate listings for fun, so I had been watching the local market since we arrived. It was incredibly slow over the winter, and most of what was available was out of our price range for what we needed. It was a little bit crazy, if I’m honest.

As we talked more and more about buying a house, we started making lists of things that were important to us. It was things like it would need to have three bedrooms. We wanted it to be in our kids school boundaries so we didn’t have to drive or figure out different transportation than the in bounds bus routes. We like the part of town we are currently in and would prefer to stay here because it’s not only close to all of the things we enjoy doing, but it’s also the part of town where family are and we’d like to be as close as possible. We need some kind of work space because Chris and I are both working from home, even if that meant a corner in the bedroom where one of us can have a desk, or something like that. We needed space to park several vehicles and also wanted some covered parking if possible for Chris’ VW van (it’s a ’69, so it needs to be under cover during the really wet months), and we’d love a decent sized yard so we can have fruit trees and a garden and/or flower beds. If we had the possibility of putting in a rental unit so we can use that rent to help off-set some of the mortgage, we’d like to do that because that’s just smart. And, one of our wants, if possible, was to end up in a house that was older with some character that we could put our own stamp on. We don’t need polished and shiny and new. We want something that we can make ours.

It’s a long list, and we knew that there would be something we’d have to compromise on, because there always is. We reminded ourselves of that as spring came and we were seeing the market start to move more. Things started coming up, and then they would be gone. Chris loves data and found out that the average days on market was about 10. We knew one of the big compromises would probably be the location. The part of town that we’re living in is very desirable because it’s minutes away from the downtown core of Vancouver. In the past 20 years the city has been working to revitalize downtown. We have a fabulous city park, an amazing farmers market on the weekends, and tons of little restaurants, coffee shops and pubs. The biggest thing is that the downtown area is right along the Columbia river, and the city has been working on a waterfront development that not only includes apartments and businesses, but a beautiful community walking and park area that is now spanning a good part of the city river frontage on both sides of the I-5 bridge. Houses in this area are often older homes, many from the early to mid 1900’s, and even the smallest ones go for way more than you would think they should. If you can find one that’s more run down and fix it up your property value can literally go up by several hundred thousand. The likelihood of finding something in this area that was in our price range was very, very minimal.

Back in May a house came up that peaked our interest, but we weren’t pre-qualified for a mortgage yet so it wasn’t an option – but it did push us in the right direction. We realized that if we wanted to be able to jump on something like that when it came up, we needed to talk to our mortgage broker and see if we could get pre-qualified. We did, and spent a couple weeks moving documents around and all that fun stuff, and did in fact get the go ahead.

So here we were, going from a place of thinking about buying a house as a “down the road, sometime next year” thing, to being in a position where we could actually do it if the right place came along. We connected with our realtors, who are family friends and took on all of Chris’ parent’s clients when they retired. We knew we were in good hands :) They encouraged us to start looking at a few places with them so we could all talk through what we liked and didn’t like, to give them a better feel for what we were looking for, and for us to hone in on that more ourselves.

We looked at a few houses within a few days, and all of them were a hard pass, but we did start seeing more of what was in line with our needs and wants, and some of the things where we could be more flexible. We weren’t in a position where we HAD to move, so we knew we could take our time and just keep looking for the right place. This was all happening the first full week of June.

On June 10 (I promise timeline matters here) I saw a house pop up that got my attention. It was an old craftsman style built in 1918 and just minutes away from where we currently live in a neighborhood full of old houses from the early days of the city. Most have been fixed up, and when they have been, they’ve gone up in value by anywhere from $150,000-400,000 depending on size and condition. The house was very much needing work, but Chris and I are up for that and prefer it because it helps make it our own, so we were open to a fixer upper. I thought there might be the possibility of putting in a rental unit in the basement because there’s an outside entrance. We decided to go look at it.

Friends, I think the best way to describe this house is to share the conversation I had with my brother right after I sent him the listing link…

Me: Sends link. A little while later my phone rings and I see it’s my brother, Darren.

Me, answering phone: “Hi!”

My brother, not even saying hello: “Listen, I’m just going to say the thing that no-one else wants to say to you right now. That, is the horror house. You know that someone beat their wife and she died in the basement and no one has told you about it yet. That is the only way to describe that house.”

I was crying with laughter and hardly able to breathe because he wasn’t wrong. About the condition of the house, not the dead wife part. I have no idea if someone ever died in the house, because as I’ve learned in the past couple of months, they don’t actually have to disclose that information to a prospective buyer…

She doesn’t look terrible, just kind of tired, right? But the character! So much potential! I want to mention that these are the listing photos, and we all know that those are often much nicer than the actual house…

Okay, it’s a little rough, but the original wood! The original door! The picture rails… I knew we could fix/restore wood stuff, even if it meant we had to paint all of it. That would be sad, but not the end of the world.

Can we please talk about those original built ins?!? I just wanted the house because of those. Done and stick a fork in me. The windows all needed to be replaced and the roof was in bad shape. We were starting to hear too many dollar signs but knew that roofing could be a bargaining tool. It was in the part of town we wanted and we knew had the potential to be something good, but it was also fronted on one of the busy through roads and we just kept hearing traffic the whole time we were there. Maybe not a deal breaker, but stuff to consider. We kept going and went to check out the basement to see what the possibilities were.

There was A LOT going on down here…

The only reason that Chris agreed to even go look at this place was because of the potential to put a rental in the basement, but when we got down there…

Listen, these photos lie. They must have had a big light down there when they took them because that little lightbulb was not big enough to make things this bright. It was dark and damp and dirty. Initially, just looking at the pictures we thought maybe it was just a case of needing to be cleaned really well, maybe some paint. But then we kept looking around. It did desperately need to be cleaned, but beyond that the foundation was seeping water. As in there was a fan on and pointing to a wall because it was cracked and there was moisture trickling in. The amount of work that the house needed in general may have been manageable, but not the foundation.

It was so much to think about and process that we actually came home from seeing the house and Chris was almost having a panic attack, questioning our decision to even be looking at a house in the first place. I know you think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not. There was a lot of pacing and twitching. He actually just peeked over my shoulder while I was typing this, and when he saw the pictures it *may* have caused a mock wretching sound to depart from his lips. I grew up in a family that did a lot of DIY projects around the house, and in fact gutted the house I grew up in at one point and redid the whole thing, so renovations and building projects don’t scare me. Chris didn’t grow up with that and as he says to people, “I don’t do wood, my wife is the one with the power tools.” When we built our house in Camp Marie, I was the one that did the initial floor plans, then he worked with an engineer friend to do the structural designs, and he oversaw the structural build, but all the finishing stuff was me, even down to building all of our cabinets, closets, countertops, vanities, etc.

All of that to say that I think I was more willing than Chris to take things on, but even I knew my limitations and that we just didn’t have the ability or money to commit to something like this, no matter how much we loved the overall idea of it.

It was so overwhelming to think about what we could afford and the amount of work that might need to go into a place in that price point that we actually decided to step back and stop looking, just taking a bit of a breather and taking the pressure off of ourselves. We knew we weren’t in a rush and we needed to not give in the the FOMO (fear of missing out) or worry that we would miss the right house for us. I fully trusted that when the time was right and the right house came along, we would know and we would have a lot of peace about it, not a panic attack, and things would fall into place, so we stepped back. One of the good things that came out of looking at this particular house was that Chris had always been the one to see the really run down house looking like it was about to fall over and say, “There! That’s the kind of house we need. The one that you get really cheap and then fix up yourself.” I would try to remind him that you might pay way less on the front end, but you were going to pay waaaaaaayyyy more to even make it livable. With this house, he finally got to see what that actually means and realized that while he liked the idea of it, he wasn’t up for it physically, mentally, or financially. It helped us more clearly define what we could and were willing to do on a house, and what we knew we weren’t.

That was Sunday, June 11. We spent the next couple of days mulling over life, and talking about how we needed to just go slow and not rush ourselves, put on the brakes, and even stop looking.

Y’all (go ahead Canadians and mock me, I don’t care), this is where things get interesting. But, you’re going to have to wait to hear the rest of the story :)

~Leslie

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July 21, 2023 11 Comments

The Fifth Chair

Back in 2012 I built a table. Before that we had a boxed table set that sat 4 comfortably, but we hosted a lot of people between friends in our area in Haiti, and the guests that would come stay with us for a week at the mission. As a make-shift solution to make our table bigger I had some visitors help me make a top that sat on our regular table to make it bigger. It worked fine, but it was cumbersome to move. I wanted to have a normal dining table that we could make bigger when needed, but those are expensive when you can find them in Haiti, and often just not our style. So I made one.

I found plans online and adapted them to our space. I bought wood, and it became my second woodworking project after the coffee table I had made. The table sat 6 comfortably when needed, and had extensions that slid in on either end to make it big enough to easily seat 8-10, sometimes more if we squeezed.

When I made that table we had a volunteer named Ryan that had come to live and work with us for a year. I remember him hanging out with me on the deck of the round house where I was building during his first week or two with us. He would help me with bits and pieces as needed, and when the table was done we added an extra chair around it because Ryan ate most of his meals with us. He became part of our family that year and it was a sweet season.

When Ryan left we didn’t move the extra chair because we really didn’t have anywhere convenient to store it so we could pull it out if we had a guest. Over time that fifth chair hosted a lot of people. When we moved to Camp Marie and set up our house I decided to keep that fifth chair around the table, even though we had plenty of room to easily stash it somewhere else.

You see, by the time we moved to Camp Marie I had realized that the fifth chair had become a fixture for our family that was always open for an unexpected guest. When people came over it became easy to invite them to stay for a meal and just throw an extra plate on the table. They saw that it wasn’t a big deal and that they weren’t imposing, because the chair was already there. I would look at that chair and be reminded that hospitality doesn’t have to be complicated or fancy. In fact, the best kind of hospitality, the kind that often means the most, is the kind that happens easily and without a lot of planning.

Over the years we hosted more people than I can count around that table. We had so many people we came to love, that became our family overseas, sit in that fifth chair. And, we’d pull extra chairs around when needed. We made new friends as we hosted guests on Vision Trips. We hosted research teams. We met so many wonderful people and shared so many meals around that table. Over time people that knew us would tell other new people in our area that they needed to meet us because they appreciated our hospitality.

We thrived off of gathering people around us and it became part of our family culture to create a space where people felt welcome. I always made sure I had the makings for spaghetti on hand. Always. Because it was an easy meal I could throw together quickly for a crowd if needed.

In the past few years, as things got harder in Haiti, it meant people left and people weren’t coming. Our social network, and our opportunities to host people at our house became fewer and fewer until we spent most of our time in isolation. It was incredibly hard and we wished and hoped for better days when we’d see our community come back or grow again. It was very isolating and lonely. And then we had to be one of those families that made the hard decision to leave.

When we moved into our house here we were blessed by so many people who helped us get the things we need, either by just giving us extras that they had, or giving us funds to help buy the things we needed to set up our home. One of the things we were gifted was a dining table set, which we were grateful for. I painted it right before we moved in, we put it in place and attempted to feel at home.

One of the things we’ve realized over the past six months is that just because you put furniture in a space that you gather, it doesn’t mean things will feel like home. Home is more than a physical space. In fact, I’ve come to realize that home is really more about a feeling than anything tangible that you can touch or see. It’s creating a safe space where things become familiar.

The dining set we were given was functional, but it wasn’t “home”. The set came with 6 chairs, but it was a tight squeeze to fit them all around the table. The table was a bit wonky, wiggled, and just a tad bit too high. Just high enough that it felt a bit weird sitting at it. It was also just a bit too wide for our dining space, so we always felt like we were having to scootch around it or were bumping into it.

Chris and I have had a lot of conversations about how hard this period of transition is, and how the process of feeling at home is a long and hard one, especially when you’re still feeling like it wasn’t the plan to have to do it in the first place. During some of our more recent conversations I was able to recognize that one of the things that I really missed about our home in Haiti was our table.

On the surface it seems a bit silly to miss a piece of furniture, but at the core I missed everything that table meant. I built it, it was mine. It meant so many friends and even family sharing meals. It meant hospitality and building a life for ourselves. I missed having the space to always have that fifth chair there. I missed the days homeschooling my kids around that table, and all the family meals we’d shared there. Meal time is a core family thing for us.

Our table in Haiti set up for tea time with the kids, a fun thing we did during some of our homeschool days.

Chris and I recognized that a physical thing that would make our new house feel more like home was to find a table that felt more like us. One that fit our space better. One that had more room around it so we could be more hospitable. And, if it was level and at a normal height that would be a good thing too :)

I started scrolling marketplace occasionally. I knew I wanted wood, I knew I’d love something older, and I knew we didn’t want to spend a lot of money on it. I found stuff from time to time, but most often it was either too far away, or more than we wanted to spend. I decided to just keep my eyes open as garage sale season started here, and knew I’d find it when the time was right.

Yesterday Chris was sick, so he stayed home from church. The kids and I went, and because I knew he wasn’t up to much we decided to go to Goodwill after grabbing some lunch to see if we could find some summer clothes for them. As we were checking out the goods on offer I wandered over to the housewares section. I normally don’t pay that much attention to furniture in Goodwill because we don’t need anything.

But, yesterday was different, because at the end of the section was this little round table with three chairs pushed against it. I almost didn’t give it much attention, but did a second take and realized there were three leaves stacked on top. I stopped my cart and went to check it out. It was solid wood. It was beaten and battered and I could see why most people wouldn’t give it a second glance. It was $30 for the whole set. And, I thought I might be able to fit it in the car with us to get it home.

I went to the front and asked for help to buy it, got the tags, paid, and managed to get it all loaded in the car – table, 3 chairs, and three leaves. I bungeed the trunk closed and embarrassed my kids as we drove home, but also taught them a valuable lesson about life in America, lol.

We got it home and Chris helped me move the old table to the curb, and move the new table in. We put the leaves in and moved chairs around it. I cut flowers from things in my yard. And I fell in love.

It fits perfectly into the space we have. It’s just the right width to feel like there’s enough space, but we can move around it. When all the leaves are in it’s the perfect length to comfortably seat 6. We can easily pull up two more chairs to seat 8. Its old farmhouse vibe, with all it’s marks and peeling varnish, feel just right. It has its own history and stories. The feel of the wood is worn, and yet soft. It’s the perfect height. It doesn’t wobble. It’s level.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day and I bought a new table with my kids. We ate our first meal around the table with family that came over for the evening. We played cards after supper. It felt like the perfect way to break in the new table. After everyone left I moved one of the chairs away and left the other in place, then sat in the living room and found myself staring at the new table. Then it hit me…

We had a fifth chair again.

I realized that for the first time since we moved in here it felt like home. And it seems crazy that it’s a beaten up old table that did it. But, maybe it doesn’t.

Flowers cut from things I’m growing in our yard, but that’s another blog post :)

We’ve all commented on how much we love this table. It feels like us. We all see the marks and think they’re beautiful, and know we’ll add our own to the mix. I love that I found it on Mother’s Day with my kids. It already has meaning. And, it’s already hosted people we love. I see so many more years ahead of us, gathering people around, and that brings me joy. I see this table being with us for many years, adjusting to whatever spaces we find ourselves in. I see God’s timing and care, in tangible and seemingly small ways, to help us create a life in a hard season. It’s a reminder that he has called us to love others and always make space for them, and that through that he feeds our souls too.

It’s a fifth chair. It’s a beaten up table. But it’s also a symbol of home for us, and my heart is healing a little bit because of it.

~Leslie

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May 15, 2023 3 Comments
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I’m Leslie. I started my blog back in 2005 when I was fresh off the plane in Haiti. I lived in Haiti for over 17 years as a missionary, wife, and eventually mom. My husband and I ran Clean Water for Haiti together, day in and day out. We carved out a life we loved doing something important to us. Sadly, in the fall of 2022 we had to make the difficult decision to leave Haiti because of the insecurity. We’re now settling into life in the US. I’m thankful that I get to continue my work with CWH as the Executive Director for Canada and the US.

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